Wednesday, May 28, 2008
When to Call it Quits
When do you say enough is enough? What is the breaking point? When is it time to say you have done your best and there is nothing else you can do? I'm struggling with this idea right now. I'm having personal problems and I just don't know what to do. There's not really anyone I can talk to about it either. I trust people but it hurts too much to open up. I have opened up to a few and I know the advice I have been given is right but I can't bring myself to take it. I can't allow myself to fall apart right now. I need to be concentrating on getting through my two summer classes I am taking right now. That leaves me no time to take care of myself. As a counselor in training I know it is important to take care of myself so that I can be an effective counselor, but I just don't know where to turn. I don't have time to take care of myself or to actually deal with what is bothering me. If I did, it would tear me apart. I'm taking time off in August and going to CA for 2 weeks, maybe I can figure everything out then. What do I do until then? Do I pretend everything is ok and just hurt inside? Will the feelings eat me up until I have nothing left to give? Who do I talk to about it?
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The truth is.... And you're going to have to admit this to yourself here eventually--- There will never be time to deal with things. There will always be something going on to the point where you have to just give yourself one more thing. We all don't have time to take care of ourselves or to do what's right. But if something else came up, you'd figure that in somehow, right? If somehow you had to do another thing for school-- you would. Time to do that for yourself. Fit yourself in and do what you have to do. There is a new day every day and you can take the new day and do what's right. Or continue to bottle it up and be hurt. The latter isn't something you want to remember in the future. Bottling up does more harm than good. It causes us to eat things we shouldn't, and make us feel worse. It keeps our minds on it at all times. If it's on your mind contantly, Cass, get it out. Don't wait for your trip. May be by getting it out now, you can enjoy your trip to California.
I hate seeing you like this. I really do. I wanted to call you last night but I only had 5 minutes and I wasn't sure if you were awake at 10:30. It's time to call it quits when you ask yourself that. If you're not happy.... how can the people around you be happy?
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